Debi's entry More about Wema

Wema (pronounced Way ma) may be the best thing that has happened to me so far in Tanzania!  

Let me explain further...this is a "relationship based society".  We knew that before we came. I took one look at the healthcare system and all its needs, coupled with my lack of language skills (I cannot understand people when they are speaking English!) and I realized I had no idea how to help!

Don gets up early snd leaves by 7:00 to go across terrible roads and arrive at Selian Hospital and Clinic in time for chapel and then a brief report from night staff followed by a quick medical inservice before having chai in the canteen and then non stop rounds...no lunch break. I, on the other hand, have shriveled from any professional "help' as I have felt too humbled to even know where to begin. So, since I am not yet engaged in other activities, let me tell you what happened. Enter WEMA!  I hope you have read how we met and how our relationship started. At first I thought "this is fun, it is ok",  but now we are much further along and I look forward to being with her any chance I get. She has been invited to EBN's house and was even exposed to to playing spoons. I have taught her cribbage which  she loves! She also loves spending time with me in the kitchen. She loves everything and is hungry for new experiences. 

One day we invited her to go with us to the movies. I got all mixed up so the day was very convoluted. She was happy to ride in the car and go whereever. We went to the bike shop ( where we spotted monkeys) and the grocery store.  Then we went to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant (I am sure she NEVER goes to a restaurant!!) where she tried to bargain with the waitress (in Swahili) to get her soda for less!  Later we took her to the first movie of her life in a cinema.  It was Star Trek In 3D!  Can you imagine?  She said she loved it, but Don and I were puzzling over the plot. Anyway, on the way to the movie, I commented that THAT was the road to the dentist that Don had been looking for. She said, "I have a hole in my tooth and if I eat ice cream, it hurts." When asked if she had ever seen a dentist, she said no. I told Don about that and he said, "it is never ending. Next her cousin will  break his arm. It does not end."

Wema was with us when Don was telling about an eclipse that would happen the next day st 9:00 am and was best seen from Africa. I put a post it note on the door to remind me to look in the morning , but plans changed and I did not go out and I forgot about it. At noon Wema knocked on my door. I was surprised to see her because we were supposed to get together at 6:00, but Swahili time and English time are different. I thought she was confused. She burst into the house and got a basin from the bathroom that she likes to use to wash her legs after walking on the dusty roads. (She told Lars and me about chiggers that  hide in the dust and can burrow into your skin .... That made us both afraid!) Anyway, she marched past me and proceeded to fill the basin with water and  carried it to the patio. On the way she told me with a wink and a slightly haughty voice, "I told you....I am a scientist!'  I followed her outside and watched as the basin of water settled. We could see the eclipse perfectly in the reflection!  By that time the moon had moved and the sun looked like a crescent with the moon blocking the rest of the light. GORGEOUS!!  I was amazed! Overjoyed!  I keplt exclaiming how wonderful this was. I called Xaudi (handyman and gardner) to see. He wasn't sure what to make of it and said, "nzuri ???(good)???"  I said this is a MIRACLE! Turns out thst Wema saw people looking in a basin along the road coming home from school. When she got home and washed her feet she saw the reflection in the water, remembered what Don had said and then ran a mile more to show me!  I just laughed and marveled about what an amazing event we shared together! If she had not come to my house, I would have missed it!  What an delightful friend I have!

Wema is up for anything and has shared quite a few meals with us. I know our food is very different than what she is used to. In addition to loving guacamole (she now makes it almost daily for her family because they have an avocado tree) , she loves hummus that Nashesha first made for us. The thing she is not so sure about is salad. She has had it often enough now that she is getting used to it and has tried at least four different kinds of dressing. 

One day she asked if she could cook dinner for us. I said SURE and she told me what to buy. She wanted to fix traditional food: ugali and sauce. Since that day I have a whole new appreciation for her capabilities!  The sauce contained 10 things in addition to meat: onion, garlic, ginger, shredded carrot, celery, green pepper, zucchini, potato, tomatoes and eggplant! She would not normally use that many things but when she found them in my refrigerator she decided to use them all!  She cooked everything pretty hard and it turned into a chunky sauce. She added the minced beef (hamburger) at the end. That is when she started making ugali. It is thick cornmeal that turns pretty solid and is cut with a knife. You take some in your hand and form it into a ball and then punch the center with your thumb and use it as a scoop to collect the sauce and eat them together. It was really very delicious!  In between cooking she would wash dishes. I introduced her to new kitchen tools like a vegetable peeler. She loved it!  I have a blue one and a black one. She prefers the black one!  I also showed her how I remove the garlic paper by smashing the clove with the side of my knife. She does this all the time now and gives me a satisfied grin as she whacks away!

Since that day she comes over often after school and begs to play a game of cribbage. Yesterday I was helping Linda with a big party and said I had too much to do. She talked me into it by saying she would help me for two hours if I would play. Of course I said yes!  She is a whiz with a knife and a peeler! And she is quite good at cribbage too! When she gets a good hand, she starts giggling and squirming in her chair. The game is forcing her to learn her numbers better in English. 

I have fun exposing her to all kinds of things. One day I had just washed my hair and I asked her if she knew what a curling iron was. She did not. So I blew my hair dry and then demonstrated what a curling iron could do. She exclaimed, "its a miracle!" She says that often when she sees something new. 

Don and I were invited to her house last Monday for dinner. Her Mom wanted to serve us bananas in coconut milk. I see these cooking bananas for sale all over and Bernice has made them for us cooked several ways. Wema came to our house in the afternoon and asked if we could make guacamole together to take to dinner.  I said SURE. Next she asked if we could make a salad to take. I was so surprised!  I said, "I did not think you even liked salad!"  She said "I am getting used to it and I want them to see what it is like". So we took guacamole, chips, roasted cashews, a large green salad , two kinds of dressing and ICE! She loves ice and we took it in a bag in the cooler to add to each glass of juice! I do not think she wanted me to bring things so there would be enough food...because there was plenty!  I think it was all about exposure!  She very proudly demonstrated how to eat salad and add dressing. Everyone was very cautious and certainly did not rave about it. Wema took seconds!  The other things were a big hit. 

Dinner was served inside around a coffee table with two large thermos containers the size of crock pots. One contained meat and the other beans along with bananas in a coconut milk sauce. It was absolutely delicious!  I hope to learn how to make it. I could substitute potatoes for the bananas in the states. Wema is very proud of the fact that they grate coconut rather than use a can because it is more natural! They had invited two German young women as well. Altogether we were 11 people. Wema's older brother is a comedian and he kept us all laughing.  I am amazed at this family's confidence to invite us over!  It was such an authentic Tanzanian experience and I felt very honored to be invited. We were packed into the room very tightly and the surroundings were very humble and it did not matter!  

Before we went to their house  Wema told us her little brother, Herison, (age 6) had a problem with his eyes. Don took along his opthalmascope. When we arrived, Mama showed us a piece of paper with notes from a clinic visit. They referred him to a large medical center in Moshi which is about 90 minutes away by car. We aren't sure exactly what the notes mean, but Don could see problems on his retina. I said I could take them there, but they answered "no money".  So now we are checking into what options might be available to him locally. His vision is bad enough that he has to put paper in front of his face to see writing. 

One more thing and I will stop. Wema's 14th birthday is September 15. I asked her how she usually celebrates. She looked down and shook her head. She said "we don't celebrate and I have never had a party."  Then she brightened and said, "Do you want to give me a party?"  I said we should talk about it but I was afraid maybe we were doing too much for her and it might cause jealousy in the family. She thought this was funny, even preposterous!  Don said it is common for Maasai not to know their birth dates or even how old they are. In the medical record there are lots of birth dates on either January 1 or July 1.  If they do not know their birthdate, they are asked if they were born in the hot season or the cold season and a birthdate is assigned from that information!  Later Wema said she told her mother I wanted to give her a party. I said, "Wema, I did not say that!  I said we would talk about it!"  We have been told that Tanzanians take "maybe" as a promise! So, what should I do?  I bought a card and a cake mix. I will talk to her mother somehow. 

So, we wrestle with how to celebrate a birthday and more importantly what to do about Wema's dental needs and her brother's eye care. Don is right...it does not end. So, when you love someone and have the means to help, what do you do? It seems crazy to be in Tanzania with the goal of helping with healthcare and not help the family you know personally. I know if I was in their shoes and had no money, I would ask for help. In a relationship based society, helping this family may be one of the biggest contributions we make. The impact seems so small in the face of SO much need that is EVERYWHERE, and we know we cannot do this for everyone, but love is very motivating