Debi's entry Wema's 14 th birthday party Sept 14

Wema's 14th birthday party was last night on September 14.  It was quite the event so I want to write about it before I forget to tell about the little things that remind you what an amazing opportunity we are having to bridge a cultural divide even if it is in small numbers!

To begin and put things in perspective, we have been invited to Wema's house for dinner three times in the last couple of weeks. We have been treated to very traditional dishes. The first was cooking bananas in coconut milk (my favorite).  The next was Makanda, a mixture of beans and dried corn and vegetables. Finally, we had pilau, a rice dish with spices and vegetables. All were very delicious!  

Linda reminds me that we are not choosing to support the poorest of the poor. This family is quite well off by Tanzanian standards. They are well connected and have a nice chunk of land with multiple brick buildings some of which they rent out which helps pay for the brothers' school. The buildings surround an open dirt courtyard where most of the day is spent with people coming and going and chickens foraging and two cows nearby in a stable that make a variety of sounds. Banana, mango, avocado and POMEGRANATE trees grace the living area in addition to flowering trees and bushes I cannot name. In spite of the beautiful trees, if they do not have the means to pay for school or medical care, they seem needy to me!

One thing I did not make clear before is that the cooking is done outside in a cooking shed over an open fire!  I get invited early so that I can see/learn the cooking process. The strangest thing is how brown they cook the onions to start. They add quite a bit of vegetable oil to the pot and then cook the onions until they are deep brown or black. Then they add shredded carrots, garlic and ginger and often tomatoes and green pepper. These are cooked hard until they disappear into a sauce. Then other things are added...all without measuring. 

So dinner is a one pot meal served inside after dark around 7:30. When we are included for dinner there are not enough bowls or silverware so they pair up and share. I always bring things to share ....whatever Wema recommends, and I think they find it interesting but they much prefer what they are used to. I realize I often spice up food with condiments or dressings. I think vinegar is so foreign that it must be an acquired taste so they eat it only to be nice...and because they are hungry. However, they LOVE the homemade roasted cashews I bring. 

Ever since the eclipse day, the phrase "Its a miracle" has been used whenever new things are encountered. One day I invited Dora, Wema's 22 year old cousin and the person with whom she shares a bedroom, and her mother to my house to learn to make almond roca!  They are interested to see if they can earn some money by selling it. I doubt that will work because the ingredients are expensive here. Anyway, we started the afternoon by making microwave popcorn.  There were lots of expressions of a MIRACLE over that since they had never heard of a microwave before!  Next I dried my hair and let them see what a curling iron was like. They wanted to take turns using it on their hair,  but mostly wanted to play with my hair. They kept saying how soft my hair is!  Finally we made almond roca. Just learning how to turn on the stove seemed amazing to them! And this is a "well off" family in Tanzania!

We also got to meet Wema's oldest brother, Orjantan, who is an engineering student in Moshi. He is just as delightful as Wema and has the same English language capability so we actually spent quite a bit of time with him while he was home on vacation. He had the same reaction to microwave popcorn and enjoys saying, "Its a miracle" too!  Very fun!  Such a nice family we have gotten to know!

I talked with Wema's mom about a birthday party for Wema. She had no problem with it but warned me she has a BIG family. Family includes many additional people like an uncle and cousins and the young man who cares for the cows and as it turns out, a few more. She also offered to make pilau which I accepted. 

Wema loved planning for the party. In fact she wanted to be involved in every aspect!  I told her it was her choice. She could be queen or a day and not do a thing or she could participate. On your birthday you get to decide!  She decided she wanted she wanted to help with everything and she wanted to have HAMBURGERS!  Now think of this....she has NEVER had a hamburger before and yet that is what she chose. We had to find a bbq and briquets and cooking utensils,  etc but it was nice that she chose something that is so familiar to us and works well for a crowd. She also wanted to make chips (French Fries) and guacamole and later she added hummus too.  So the menu was set:

Appetizers:
Guacamole and chips
Hummus and fresh veggies
Juice and soda

Main course: 
Hamburgers and onions,tomatoes and pickles and condiments. We dropped lettuce cuz that would be just too strange!
Chips (and ketchup for us)
Pilau with beef
Watermelon....later dropped when the two young women,both named Hannah from Germany, arrived with a fruit salad

Dessert:
Cake and ice cream with candles! Wema and I made the cake and decorated it the day before. I bought Skittle candy and used a different color for each letter of her name on the cake. I used to do that for the boys with m&ms but could only find Skittles. 

Something I found delightful was how excited Wema was with the anticipation of the party. When I would say, well SOMEONE has a birthday this week, she would giggle and squirm and rub her feet together as if the excitement went all the way to her toes!

The guest list was tough!  She wanted to invite everyone and in fact invited a medical student she just met for the first time early in the week when the topic of her party came up. As the day grew closer, the list grew longer. In the end some people who were invited could not come and that was good because extras came without an invitation which is common in this culture. I had given permission for her to invite two friends but the number grew to 4 when the party had already started because some were too shy to come without others. In fact when they arrived Wema had to meet them on the road and they hid behind the house for quite awhile before they got the nerve to come to the patio. It is like if there is a party happening, they want to be included in the worst way, but having it be with WHITE people is just too foreign/exciting/intimidating for comfort!  Her pastor and a teacher came too!  And maybe one or two more. I had trouble keeping people straight!

During appetizers we went in a circle and introduced ourselves. Wema's friends laughed so much in that socially awkward way that only young teenagers can do. Most people ended by saying something nice about Wema and expressing gratitude for being invited. They seem like such kind people. 

Altogether were were a group of 17 which is quite a few for this little rental house, but I was not worried. Africans can always fit in one more!  In fact they thought our house was most spacious!  We used yard chairs and everyone had a seat even when we moved inside for cake. Plastic yard chairs are common in people's living rooms on a permanent basis. 

The lesson on how to fix a hamburger was hilarious!  I had everyone come inside for the demonstration. I had ketchup, mustard, mayo and bbq sauce for condiments....all totally unknown to them, in addition to onions, tomatoes and pickles. Some were just too uncomfortable to make their own hamburger so the German girls stepped forward and put together quite a few.  It was nice to have pilau and chips and fruit too. I noticed that after we had been eating awhile, the plates were empty except for the hamburgers remaining. I wondered if the neighbor's dog was going to get a lot of leftovers, but in the end they dove in with much laughter at trying to take bites of such a big sandwich!  Overall I think they liked it, after all it was BEEF, a Maasai favorite!

Then it was time for cake. Don had blown up balloons and taped them to the ceiling. The cake was most colorful and personalized with her her name. Before we could even light the candles they started singing Happy Birthday (pronounced Bawth-day) in English over and over! Once the candles were lit we sang several more times before she was told to make a wish and blow out her candles. It is just hard to fathom that this familiar ritual is so new to them. The chocolate cake with a butter cream frosting was beautiful but just a little too strange for many of them. Ice cream went over better. 

Then it was time for presents. Her Mom gave her several yards of African fabric which she will have made into a dress. Dora gave her a watch!  I am so glad because she never knows what time it is! She got a joint card from her friends and there was even money inside!  She got some kind of little book too. The gifts were not wrapped.
I gave her rather strange gifts. I gave her three things wrapped in foil red paper: a vegetable peeler, a glass spice container of ground black pepper and a bag of regular popcorn. In her card I wrote a message telling her I would also take her to the dentist. She immediately said, "WHEN?"  in a tone of glee. I think she liked the wrapping paper as much as the gifts!

After the cards were opened, I asked if she wanted to say anything to the group. She stood up snd thanked everyone so sincerely for coming and sharing her party and her life. There were several expressions about also thanking God. In Tanzania people often thank God for you rather than thanking you directly. 

The party was almost over and I started to clean up. Orjantan came in the kitchen with his mom and said his mother wanted the pastor to pray for me. I said WHAT? WHY? WHEN?  WHERE???  Turns out the answers were now, in the kitchen because her mother felt so blessed by us and did not have the words to thank us herself. She could not think of anything nicer than to have her pastor say a prayer of blessing for us. The pastor and mama do not speak English. So Don and I held hands with mama and the pastor and Orjantan and Wema in the kitchen while the pastor prayed,  pausing for translation!  I can honestly say this does not happen everyday....and it did indeed feel like a blessing!

So that is how the party ended...after lots of hugs. And after Wema thanked me about 10 times!  I think we will all remember this day for a long time yo come. I find it incredible that we came all this way to fulfill Don's dream of providing healthcare to his birth country, and my chance meeting with Wema and the on going relationship with her family has touched us so deeply. We could never have planned for this!